Monday Jokes Collections
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Sardar ne medical store se dawa li aur
Store waly se kaha Cheeni bhi do
Storwala:Cheeni medical pe nahi milti
Santa main pagal nahi hun ispe likha hai Sugar free!!!
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New Krishna to Radha-
Main Krishna Kanhaiya aur tu Radha Gori
Main Kites ka Hritik tu Barbara Mori
Radha – Jyada line mat mar coz i Hate Luve Story…:-D
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Pani ko bewkuf
kaise banaoge ?
Socho?
Socho
Socho?
Garam karo aur
Roz ki tarah aaj bhi mat nahao..!!!
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Chand bhi kya ajeeb cheez hai…
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Bachpan me ‘Mamu’ aur
Jawani me ‘Janu’ nazar aata hai…
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Santa in Action
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Santa class me haans raha tha,
Ek ladka bola : Stand UP, kaun ho tum?
Santa : Tum kaun ho?
Ladka : Mein monitor hu
Santa : Te phir mein CPU hu!!!
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Santa (Ladki ko chedte hue): Hor soniya ki haal he…??
Ladki (gusse me) boli: Jo teri behn ka hai.
Santa (hans kar): Woh to pregnant hai!!!
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Santa:- Abe Banta tu yaha baitha hai…
Tere dost ki death ho gai hai… Tu gaya Kyu Nahi????
Banta:- Uss saale ne mujhe bulaya hi nahi 😀
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Santa: Yaar jaldi jao tumare ghar me samundar ka pani ghus gaya hai
Banta: Kyun jhoot bolte ho Ghar ki chabi to mere paas hai 😀
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More Funny Jokes
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A policeman to his son : Tumhara result aacha nahi aaya.
Aaj se tumhara khelna aur TV dekhna band.
Beta : Ye 50 rupay pakdo aur ess baat ko yaheen dabado
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Jo dete hai ladki ko tohfe,
Wo late hai unki shaadi me sofe,
Jo jate hai unke piche,
Wo aate hai caro ke neeche,
Jo kehte hai JAANU,
Wahi bante hai baacho ke MAMU!!!
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Height of jhatka :
“A boy after spending great time with GF,
Saw a guy’s photo in her bag
Asked – Is he ur X BF?
GF kissed him said no dear thats me before surgery…;)
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Nurse : Mubarak ho aap ke ghar ladka paida hua hai.
Santa : Wah g wah kya technology hai, Biwi meri hospital hai,
aur bacha mere ghar paida hua hai!!!
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Very Funny :)
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Santa ko uska sasur jute maar raha tha
Aadmi : Kyu maar rahe ho?
Sasur : Meinie ise Hospital se SMS kiya.
Tum baap ban gaye ho. Isne apne sare friends ko forward kar diya!
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Makan Malik : Rs 700 kiraya hoga.
Kirayedar : Thik hai. Lekin aapke makan me chuhey nach rahe hai.
Malik : To saale 700 me kya Sheela nachegi?
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THIS IS A CLASSIC ::
Santa ne facebook pe apna account banaya
aur apni WALL pe likha :
“Yaha thukna mana hai” 🙂
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Ek khargosh roj lohaar ki dukan pe jata aur kehta : GAAJAR hai?
Lohar inkar kar deta.
Ek din Lohaar ko gussa aaya aur usne Khargosh ke daant tod diye.
fir..
fir kya…
Agle din Khargosh aaya aur bola…
GAAJAR KA JUICE HAI KYA???
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Indian Funny Jokes
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Romantic but real Fact…
Jo aankho se rehte hai door…
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…
Jo aankho se rehte hai door…
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…
Woh questions exams me aate hai ZAROOR…!
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Ek Rexona naam ki ladki thi,
Jo Diana aur Cinthol ki beti thi,
Wo Margo par Yu marti thi,
Aur usey apna lifebuoy banana chahti thi,
Unka pyar pears jaisa soft tha
& soon they get married in Fair & Lovely Garden,
In the party, Dettol, Medimix, Lux, Faa, Nirma Vivel etc
were invited
After a few years they had twins Johnson & Johnson
Ye 1 tarika tha aapko batane ka ki bazar me sabuno ki kami nahi hai
Varieties uplabdh hai
So saal me 1 din nahane ki adat chhor de
Bharat sarkar dwara JANHIT ME JARI!
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12 Boys planed to propose a girl
10 came with a rose..
But 1 came with a ring – Thats confidence
But what about the other 1?
Wo sala baraat lekar aaya – OVER CONFIDENCE!
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Hindi Funny Mobile Message
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Santa – Yaar Banta tune poore toilet me potty kyu kar di?
Banta – Yaar ye mobile bhi na!
Santa – Kya hua?
Banta – Tune “IDEA” ka ad nahi dekha
“WALK when u TALK”
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Boyz Mentality :-
Ye jo aag dim me lagi hai zamane me laga dunga,
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..
…
Uski doli jo uthi,
to
Koi baat nahi smart hoon dusri pata loonga…;)
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Colgate se daant saaf karne ka,
Pepsodent se majboot karne ka,
Babool se fresh karne ka..
Agar fir bhi safed nahi huye to..
Bindass HARPIC use karne ka..
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Santa : Mom kya aapne mujhe paida hone se pehle dekha tha?
Mom : Nahi to beta!
Santa : To phir paida hone ke baad aapne mujhe pehchana kaise??
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Santa and Banta Again
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Santa ko rota dekhkar Banta ne pucha kya hua?
Santa : Meine 2 ton ka AC kharida,
ghar aakar tola to sir 35 kilo ka nikla!
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Exam me teacher ne nakal karne di aur kaha bahar jake
na kehna ki meine nakal karai hai.
Santa : Na jee na hum kahenge sir to bahut kamina tha,
kutte ne seat se hilne bhi nahi diya!
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Banta : What is the similarity between marriage and 11:59 pm?
Santa : Dono ke baad 12 bajte hai aur din badal jate hai!
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Best Collection – Santa Banta Jokes
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Santa mango juice ka glaas le kar baitha tha
Banta aaya aur fataak se juice pee gaya.
Santa – Meri to yaar kismat hi kharab hai. Beta fail ho gaya,
biwi dost ke saath bhag gayi, ghar me chori ho gayi, nalke me
paani nahi, ghar me light nahi.
Aab juice me zehar daal ke peene ko rakha tha
aur wo bhi tu pee gaya saale!
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Santa : Tumhari biwi ka kya naam hai?
Banta : Google Kaur.
Santa : Ye kaisa naam hai?
Banta : Yaar mein jaha bhi hota hoon, wo mujhe dhoondh hi leti hai!
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Santa : Mujhe mobile me MP3 songs dalwane hai.
Mobile Shop Wala : Memory card hai kya?
Santa : Nahi memory card nahi hai, RASAN CARD chalega?
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Wife to Santa : “You don’t love me at all”
Santa points towards their five children and says
“Do you think I donwloaded them from google” 🙂
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Smart Wife – Funny Letter
Letter from husband ( who is abroad) to wife
Dear Sweetheart:
I can’t send my salary this month, so I am sending 100 kisses.
You are my sweetheart
Your husband
Allen
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His wife replied back after some days to her husband:
Dearest sweetheart,
Thanks for your 100 kisses, I am sending the expenses details.
1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month’s milk.
2. The electricity man only agreed after 7 kisses.
3. Your house owner is coming every day and taking two or three kisses instead of the rent.
4. Supermarket owner did not accept kisses only, so I have given him Some other items……. ….
5. Other expenses 40 kisses
Please don’t worry for me, I have a remaining balance of 35 kisses and I hope I can complete the month using this balance.
Shall I plan same way for next months, Please Advise!!!
Your Sweet Heart
Anna
Funny Mathematics
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
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OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
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Funny SMS and Jokes Collection - Hindi Jokes, Funny Text Messages 